Squeezes and wriggles.

My darling angel baby's due date is coming up again, he would be coming up for 2.  Perhaps that's why he's been on my mind more than usual.  Don't get me wrong, I hadn't forgotten him at all, but he's appeared in my thoughts and tears so much more often lately.  There hasn't been any obvious reason why, no trigger as such, so maybe it's just my state of mind.  But when I look at my beautiful Rebecca I feel confused.  I'm so in love with her, yet if I didn't lose my angel baby I wouldn't have her now.  I don't know how to feel about that, so I thank God for my baby in heaven and ask Him to hold him close and kiss him a thousand times for me till I get there myself.  Then I give my sweet Rebecca a huge squeeze and a kiss, till she wriggles free and totters off to do her own thing.  I love them both so much it hurts, thank God he understands that sort of pain when he sent his only son to the cross for me and my babies.  I love you Father God, thank you for loving me first and better.